Today Is World Menopause Day. Let’s Say It Out Loud.
Nobody threw me a party. Nobody handed me a manual. One day my body simply began operating under new management, and I was left to figure out the policies on my own.
Today is World Menopause Day, so we are going to say the word out loud. Menopause. Perimenopause, too, since it often arrives years earlier and without introducing itself.
If you have ever fanned yourself with a meeting agenda, woken up at 3 a.m. for no reason, cried at a commercial, or lost all tolerance for nonsense, welcome. You are in good company. I personally consider that last one a feature.
Here is what troubles me as a clinician and as a woman. Generations of women went through this in silence. Our mothers and grandmothers rarely talked about it. Many of us arrived at this stage knowing more about algebra than about our own hormones. When we do not have language for what is happening, we tend to blame ourselves. We decide we are failing, when in fact we are changing.
Menopause is a whole-body transition. It can affect sleep, mood, memory, energy, and focus. For women with ADHD, shifting hormones can make attention and emotional regulation harder than they have ever been. None of this means something is wrong with your character. It does mean you deserve good information and a healthcare provider who takes your concerns seriously. If you have been dismissed, you are allowed to ask again or ask someone else.
You also deserve company. Belonging is one of my 5 Bs of Self-Care, because shame grows in isolation and loosens in community. The first time another woman says, “Me too,” something in the body relaxes. You realize you were never the only one. You were only the first to say it in the room.
So here is today’s practice. Tell one woman one true thing about your experience. A friend, a sister, a daughter, a coworker. It can be funny. It can be hard. It can be both. Every honest sentence makes this easier for the women coming after us.
My generation is done whispering. I hope you will talk with me.
Your affirmation: “I am not fading. I am changing, and I get to decide what this chapter means.”
Now I would like to hear from you. What is one thing you wish someone had told you about menopause or perimenopause? Your answer may be the exact sentence another reader needs.
If this felt familiar, subscribe so you do not miss the next entry. We are building a community of women who are learning to lean inward to have a healthy outward, and there is a seat for you.
With care,
Dr. Myra Wilkinson, LMFT-S
